It is of course true that a vast amount of jobs is never advertised or publicly announced, but rather filled through word-of-mouth or networking, aka the “hidden job market.” The only way to access this market is by knowing the right people. Therefore, who you know definitely plays a major part in finding a new job.

It doesn’t just matter who you know, but also what this other person thinks of you. If you know the CEO of a company you would like to work for, but this person thinks you are a complete good-for-nothing this connection won’t get you a job. So unless this person owes you a favor for some other obscure and less than legitimate reason (which I understand is more often the case than one would hope) you knowing this person did not give you an advantage at all.

So in my totally fair dream world I would rephrase the proverb to: It’s not just what you know but also who knows that you do.

Comic by xkcd.com

Of course, leaving a job is much less emotional than leaving the person you loved, and that you might have lived with for an extended period of time. Don’t forget though, that most of us spend the greater part of our waking hours at work. More often than not, the amount of time we spend with our colleagues sums up to more hours than the time we spend with our spouses. So, no matter how professional you might be about it, “leaving” your old job, and therefore your colleagues and your boss, is emotional as well.

The last impression counts too

If the first impression you make on someone is the most important one, then the last impression you leave probably follows right in second place. It’s all about keeping your face. If you stay honest and you keep your (business) partner up to date about your situation and feelings, then there is not much they can hold against you. Of course, it will still be awkward, but at least you can still look the other person in the eye afterward.

We need to talk

Don’t go blabbing your decision all over the place before you have told your boss/partner. There is no excuse for them having to find out from someone else. You should still have enough respect for them (and the courage) to tell them yourself. Personally. Be prepared, direct and polite. Show some class. No matter what may have happened before, this is not the time to get personal. There will be questions, so make sure you have thought your decision through. Don’t accept counter offers. They might tempt you stay around for longer, but the key problems resulting in your decision to leave in the first place, won’t just go away.

Notice period

Ok, ok. There are differences between a resignation and a break-up. What is very appropriate in one situation (job), doesn’t necessarily work in the other (love). Please notice the key term ‘a bit’ in the title. Your employer obviously would like to have as much notice as possible to prepare for your departure. This doesn’t apply to ending relationships. In the later situation you need a clean cut and some distance – at least for a while. Anything else will just make it more complicated. Trust me, I’ve been there and I’ve seen it happening numerous times. It never works.

After handing in your resignation, don’t slack off. Continue acting professional with your employer. It is highly likely that your paths will cross again. Make sure that you’ve completed any outstanding tasks and participated in the smooth handover of any unfinished work.

Get some distance first

Switching from a close relationship to just being friends doesn’t happen over night. Allow yourself and your significant other some distance to get over the heartache and to get used to your new situation. Depending on how tight the relationship used to be this phase might last between one and six months. After it you should not be feeling bad about the break-up anymore and once you get over the initial awkwardness of meeting again, you can start seeing your ex-partner from a new perspective.

I know, it’s probably the most cliché phrase ever, but I tend to really mean it in both cases: “Let’s stay friends.”

Image by WolfS♡ul via Flickr

Reflection and Analysis

I wasn’t sorry though. In fact, I was pretty pissed off. He just ruined my day. The reasons are beyond me, but there are apparently bus stops where you can get on but not off an ‘Express’-bus and vice versa. Go figure. Back on the bus this morning I recalled the experience from the day before and I wondered why it had happened. Obviously, it had left behind two angry men and there had to be a better explanation than ‘This bus driver is a jerk.’

Why was I angry? I wanted to exit the bus. The bus stopped anyway to let people getting on, so I didn’t see the point in the bus driver not letting me get off. Also, like most people, I don’t like to be barked at.

Why was he angry? I can only assume, but he is apparently very tired of people trying to get on and off ‘Express’-buses at stops where they shouldn’t, not being aware of the rules on these buses. He is getting paid to drive the bus from A to be B on a tight schedule. There is no time to make extra stops.

The problem

I think, this is where the problem is. You just read over it. Is his job really to drive the bus from A to B? Or, is it to transport passengers from A to B? He is providing a service to his customers. This understanding is essential. Had this bus driver had the later comprehension of his job, he would have happily let me off the bus to provide me with better service. Having the first understanding, on the other hand, meant that I was disturbing him while carrying out his duty.

So, in case your job also includes providing a service to your costumers, ask yourself what the real purpose of your work is. Sometimes, you have to bend the rules a bit to provide better service. You are expected to use sound reasoning, to decide which rules to bend and when. This makes you a professional at your job. Blindly following rules is for novices. Being proficient means to know when you don’t have to.  If you have to stop the bus anyway, let people get off, would you?

Photo by PhillipC via Flickr